theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
