You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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