It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
