I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize