There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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