sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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