you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Vodka?
Forever.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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