That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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