East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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