i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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