I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
