I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
