What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
