Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We have started to decorate penises.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
this is an emotional support booty call
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
