I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize