he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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