He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
