I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
