so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
