I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
