nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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