who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
