I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize