My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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