i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
