I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
