first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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