So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
