What did we do last night that was yellow?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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