I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We just shotgunned beers for America
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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