pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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