Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
