she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
birth control should be required to get into college
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize