Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
