i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
