YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
