..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
