they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
