Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
