I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
