She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize