too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
