Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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