Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
