So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
