Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
