It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
