Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
