I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
