i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
