SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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