is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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