i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
