I didn't shave. On purpose
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
