Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
