if i can run in heels then i can drive
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
