**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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