hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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