all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
