Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
