I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
