I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
