I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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