the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
