is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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