I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
