your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We had to coat check the pizza.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
