I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
